August 14, 2006


For so long it has felt like I’ve been heading towards a cliff where I would fall off into the grey space and become part of it. I see myself standing at the top, looking down to where I couldn’t see the bottom. Needless to say falls from great heights are normally undesirable especially when unassisted by appropriate gear so I was trying to avoid the cliff in whatever manner possible. I have been failing at it so far, I still don’t know for sure what’s going to be.

But now for some reason the cliff has changed into an invisible barrier in time which is deftly located by its affects. Now, instead of a person on top of a cliff I am a sheet of dark blue material, like a pulled out roll of brown wrapping paper extending across some non-descript surface. Maybe not quite like paper, but not quite like sheet metal either, somewhere in between. This invisible barrier (that is, September) is where I am broken up into pieces, small squares to be exact, and diffused beyond that threshold.

Square or cliff falling, everything is still up in the air-ish and highly uncertain. Stupid figuring out your life crap, I rather dislike it.


Dinah said...

I'm still sort of confused, but maybe that's thematic? It doesn't sound like the thing worked out...or maybe it did, but not really...I'm sorry. I wish you nothing but happiness and clarity. I'm sendin' good vibes your way. (That's right, I dropped my 'g'. Is there a linguistic word for that?)

Bethany<> said...

No, that's not what I'm saying, thing is still up and I'm waiting to see if it goes through. Its just how I feel.

Dinah said...

Oh, good. Well, not good, but good. Maybe good but not grood? I shouldn't post before I'm fully awake.